To instill self-control in her children--especially her energetic little boys--Michelle uses a process that she calls Quite and Still (similar to Blanket Training, but without the toy). From the time they are young, the mother of many teaches her kids to sit quietly and slowly increases the length of time.
"It's not waiting until they do something wrong to correct them, but actually taking moments to train them," explains Michelle in our July 2011 interview. She recommends starting with increments of five minutes.
Here's how it works:
"I'll sit him in a chair, and I'll say, 'Okay, Mommy's going to sit beside you, and you're going to practice being still and quiet...yes ma'am?'...We may do that two or three times a day for about a week, and usually they catch it."
"What they're learning is self-control. (Click here for the Duggars' list of character qualities)...They're learning to obey Mommy's voice." One of Michelle's favorite mantras is "The first time I say it, you obey it."
"Then it can be transferred to when you're in the grocery store and they're sitting in the cart....They can learn to do that wherever they are because it's trained in their little hearts."
Michelle also stresses the importance of pouring out the praise. She and Jim Bob believe that one of the most vital parenting tips is to "praise your children ten times more than you correct them."
"It's not waiting until they do something wrong to correct them, but actually taking moments to train them," explains Michelle in our July 2011 interview. She recommends starting with increments of five minutes.
Here's how it works:
"I'll sit him in a chair, and I'll say, 'Okay, Mommy's going to sit beside you, and you're going to practice being still and quiet...yes ma'am?'...We may do that two or three times a day for about a week, and usually they catch it."
"What they're learning is self-control. (Click here for the Duggars' list of character qualities)...They're learning to obey Mommy's voice." One of Michelle's favorite mantras is "The first time I say it, you obey it."
"Then it can be transferred to when you're in the grocery store and they're sitting in the cart....They can learn to do that wherever they are because it's trained in their little hearts."
Michelle also stresses the importance of pouring out the praise. She and Jim Bob believe that one of the most vital parenting tips is to "praise your children ten times more than you correct them."
12 Comments~Click HERE to add yours:
I wondered how they implement the character qualities. Its one thing striving for them in older children, but helping the little ones to understand them is almost more important, because they grow up following them subconsciously.
We would be grateful if you could continue posting more information about this.
Amy-Louise T
Wonderful advice from Michelle. God bless x
Amen! Michelle is such a wise momma! I have tried many of her parenting tips with the kids I nanny and they work! I hope I can meet her someday :)
Her wisdom comes from above. Any mother that can control that many children with her loving voice is blessed from above. I admire Michele very much. I think the key here is love and praise...children should never be left to feel they are a burden or a trouble. If we teach them they are a joy, as Michele does, they will be more willing to please.
Great advice!
that sound like great advice! Thank you Michelle!
Thats a good idea. I'll have to try that.
Such a great mom. She seems to do everything with love. I admire her patience. She is a true role model.
Sandy
NY
What age would she start it?
great advice, I don't understand how she does it without having to raise her voice.I wonder if she ever do raise her voice though, and what happens when they don't listen? In any event, I admire Michelle and the way she is with her family. I use some of her tactics with my own children, sometimes they work, sometimes they don't because I am not consistent..So maybe I'll get better in the future, lol
Hi Lilla (love your name!),
Michelle starts "quiet and still" training with her children as early as possible. For little ones, the starting time might be reduced to one or two minutes. Each child responds differently.
Hope this helps!
Lily and Ellie
I was just wondering how do you work that w/children that are much older & had a harder early childhood. I have 3 girls that I adopted at different ages & where the one that I have had since 3 months old I have no trouble really to get her to do as I say. now her lil sister 4 & bigger sister 8 it's much harder especially w/4 yr old's FAS & Sensory Processing Deficit problems. Do you have any ideas of how to reach them w/out having to raise my voice as I see you do time & time again!? I have seen such a great amount of change from them both but have a lot of work to do to get there!
I would love some transitional times ideas due to her slight OCD it's the worse meltdown time for her!?! you guys are such amazing parents & I see the love in all of your family! God Bless You all for showing the world that it CAN be done!
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